By K.SHEETHAL, MA clinical psychologist
In today’s super-connected world, social media anxiety is a big problem. Many of us know the “bad cycle”: a quick good feeling from a “like,” then constantly checking for more, and finally, disappointment when nothing new appears. This can lead to feeling useless, upset, and sad. It can even cause physical problems like tense muscles, dizziness, or trouble sleeping. But what if the real reasons for this modern problem go much deeper than just apps and websites?
The way social media anxiety works is clear: it starts when you post a picture. Then come the thoughts like, “I’ll keep checking for more likes or mentions!” This leads to feelings of excitement, then worry, frustration, sadness, and worthlessness. These feelings make us behave in certain ways, like constantly scrolling and refreshing, or even pretending to have a different life online. Our body also reacts with a quick burst of good chemicals, followed by tension, sleep problems, and an upset stomach.
While we see the immediate effects of social media, it’s vital to understand what makes people open to this cycle. Often, the roots of social media anxiety are planted when we are young, especially because of certain parenting styles and early life experiences.
When Connection is Missing
When parents can’t spend enough time with their kids, they might miss important things happening in their children’s lives. Relying a lot on caretakers, even good ones, can mean kids don’t get enough dedicated care, love, and watchful attention. This lack can leave an empty space that children later try to fill by seeking approval from others.
Another big factor is bullying from other kids. Even if parents are doing a good job, bullying can have a deep and lasting effect. Mean words or being left out, which might seem “silly” to an adult, can really hurt a child’s confidence and feeling of self-worth.
According to Erik Erikson’s theory on how people develop, not getting enough love, care, and attention during important childhood stages can make children feel self-doubt and have low self-esteem. They might struggle to accept themselves as they are, always looking for others to tell them they’re “good enough.” This basic feeling of being unsure makes them very likely to fall for the appeal of social media and the worries that come with it, where likes and mentions seem to measure their value.
A Real-Life Example: The over-scheduled Child
Think about a common situation today. A parent recently worried that their 2nd-grade child wasn’t getting good grades and immediately thought of a “learning disability” after watching a movie. But this same child’s day was packed: school, then tutoring, and then more “online learning apps” on a phone. The parent herself was often busy with her own online life, perhaps as an influencer.
This story shows several big problems. Too much focus on grades at a young age, plus a too-busy schedule, can take away the free play and real interaction that kids need to grow up healthy. When screens replace parents being present and connecting, children learn to look for attention and approval elsewhere. The parent’s own search for online approval can, without meaning to, teach the child that pretending or showing a perfect image is needed to be liked – which is just like “pretending to have a different life on social media.” Thinking there’s a “disability” can sometimes hide the real issue: not enough steady, caring attention from parents.
Breaking the Cycle: Solutions from Early Nurturing
The good news is we can fix these basic problems to help stop social media anxiety. The answer is to build a strong sense of self-worth and inner strength from a young age:
- Praise and Encourage: Always praise your children for their efforts and achievements, no matter how small. Teach them that learning and practicing more leads to becoming good at things. This helps them want to grow and learn, instead of just wanting quick praise.
- Help Them Solve Problems: Help your children learn to think for themselves by encouraging them to think through and solve their own problems. This builds their confidence in what they can do and makes them less reliant on others’ approval.
- Support Talents and Interests: Actively praise and boost their talents. Whether it’s getting a star at playgroup or good comments from school, notice their successes and show real interest in what they do.
- Understand Their Experiences: Never ignore how experiences like bullying can affect them. Even a “small” comment can really hurt a child’s confidence. Listen to your kids, understand their feelings, and take their worries seriously.
By making love, attention, and building self-esteem top priorities in childhood, we can give the next generation the inner strength to handle social media.9 This helps them have a healthier relationship with both their online and real-world selves. It’s about being truly present, not just physically, but emotionally, to build a strong foundation for confident and resilient individuals.
Do you think schools and teachers should also help build good self-esteem in kids, and what could they do?
The real picture of current situation . Very basic problem of new generation actually,and many parents are facing these types of scenarios. In most of the cases the situation is exactly the same u mentioned.Vey carefully explained the problem in the article. Many many congratulations dear for such an amazing work ❤️💐👏👏
True that, presence of parents never replaced with any gadget or different activity schedules….to nurture a good life in kids one must follow your guidelines. Wonderful article ,much needed in today’s world.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💐💐💐
I really liked this article. It made a lot of sense how our childhood experiences, like not getting enough attention or going through bullying, can affect how we feel about ourselves and how we use social media.
I never really thought about the deeper reasons behind constantly checking for likes or feeling low after scrolling. The examples used, felt very real and relatable. It’s a good reminder that emotional support during childhood really does shape how we handle things later in life.
Good Day K.SHEETHAL, MA clinical psychologist . Firstly Hearty congratulations on ur Article published 🤗💐🌹🪷
I’m so proud to be a part of your life.
Thank you so much for all your selfless services towards the nation and to the family.
Your services are great with the patients.
I’m so happy to read the article published on your website – it’s wonderful,
Thank you again for your invaluable services to this clinic and to people in need.
The reality is that health is wealth for the current generation.
Being healthy and positive in all factors of life is crucial.
Children and parents must understand the usage of social media on smartphones.
We should control our mobile usage, not let it control us.
Let’s find a balance and not let mobile devices dictate our lives.
Good Day K.SHEETHAL, MA clinical psychologist . Firstly Hearty congratulations on ur Article published 🤗💐🌹🪷
I’m so proud to be a part of your life.
Thank you so much for all your selfless services towards the nation and to the family.
Your services are great with the patients.
I’m so happy to read the article published on your website – it’s wonderful,
Thank you again for your invaluable services to this clinic and to people in need.
The reality is that health is wealth for the current generation.
Being healthy and positive in all factors of life is crucial.
Children and parents must understand the usage of social media on smartphones.
We should control our mobile usage, not let it control us.
Let’s find a balance and not let mobile devices dictate our lives.By Nistala Rekha Sastry
Very well written Sheethal on efects of social media and the deeper problems behind it. True, I’ve also seen young clients in my practice with fully-scheduled days not even having a space to spend quality time with family. Sad state of affairs. Breaking this cycle indeed starts from home but I also feel schools, teachers and parents need to collaboratively look at these concerns.